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Ten True Confessions of a Highly Effective Burglar

  1. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.
  2. If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.
  3. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.
  4. The other thing I avoid is a house with a loud radio or television.
  5. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation.
  6. I’ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll just go back to what he was doing. It’s human nature.
  7. I’m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?
  8. I love it when you announce your vacation on Facebook. It’s easier than you think to find your address.
  9. I love looking in your windows for flat screen TVs or gaming systems that I’d like to have. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.
  10. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.